Pretty much, yeah.

A lot of things happened as of late, so I was unable to post anything for anyone to read. If anyone is reading, that is. But I try to keep consistent, eh?

Another day, another year I feel passes me by. Getting older doesn't have anymore distinctive rewards as it should be giving. As some books might call it the time of testing, where a chosen child is brought into the outside world to be tested against his patience to become a man. At least be tested for something, because these things aren't for nothing.

And here I am trying to make of my time and life as it is, and things aren't as fun as they seem to be. Who'd expect anything to be fun? Ever since I came to my new place, its been a heckload of studying, so much so that I can say that I've studied more in these two months than I have in previous years plus high school. Methinks I only studied football and English in high school, actually.

A great many things have become obligations and obligations turned into burdens when what I face becomes difficulty. Not a challenge, mind you. I know the difference between a challenge and a difficulty. One I can handle, the other I almost cannot. Unless perhaps that is what people want to believe.

So I sacrifice one and go for the other. Would it be wise to throw away one burden and concentrate on the other three, and excel in those areas, or rather concentrate on all? Maybe not doing too well in all? I'm not too sure, because that is what I'm contemplating.


But to happy thoughts. Last night I was feeling overly tense, the nerves hitting me by the shoulderblades, and the knife in my hands feeling like something close to home. Heh, I was cooking, but the feeling was there long before. To think of so many things at one time just gets you on your toes, wiggling.

So I go upstairs and watch some television, and watch the Simpsons. And LOST. Some of those episodes I have seen before, but I snicker nonetheless, and the tingling is gone from my shoulders.

Wonder what next. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is out today.

Oh my!

Not what I expected to see on TV the other day. Not at all.

Blackjack.

There is meaning in the cards. Care to guess?

Ramble On.

For those of you who might have been wondering, that last post of mine was in no way an April Fool's dedication, nor was it spam, but rather the dangerous mind to pen to paper. Minus the filters. Imagine a draft without grammar correction. Imagine the news without censorship. Imagine freedom without proper restraint. The horrors isn't it?

It was just at a time where I had been a little bit stressed out, things not going too well my way, combined with the ever-present aura of loneliness and utter boredom. Not if I can help it, plus a workload that is strife for my well-being to handle.

So many things I contemplate. One, why I have not been granted a more technical mind by the Almighty to attend to my various educational assignments. I wouldn't exactly adhere to any education system, except with the thought that self-learning coupled with coaching would be able to push my limits further than what I can hope for. A good, and reasonable thought, if it was not for the Machiavellian-seeming consequences behind every hidden corner. Some things just do not work the way you want them to work, even with the best of intentions and all the theories that you try to put into practice.

Peace, sometimes I do not have, and I take to my burdens with a sip of carnality, in the hopes that indulging myself in some sort of pleasure would drown my sighs for a while. Not so, as each bout would leave an individual such as I in another state that I do not wish for a extra - remorse.

I don't mean to do badly in the things that I do. I was gifted in some areas, I know that, but if I were to pursue for a certain goal, why should I not get to see how things would turn out, as compared to those who see for a second before understanding? Why does my doing have to take years and ages to comprehend?

Ah, but this is the product of being different. To choose a place different from where your friends go, in the hopes that new lands would reap new harvests, but it is not always so. Think, the pioneers of my thoughts when they disembark from their caravans onto the plains of new reason, expecting to find green grasses of knowledge, but find that underneath lie the rocky ground of box-thinking.

Metaphorically speaking, or I am just speaking in metaphors.


No man is truly the same, and every man who aspires to be another man simply falls short of himself, because himself is not who the other man is. Like all those nu-metal/emo bands, who piss me off from time to time.

I'll say it again, like I've said before. Mods cool me down.


Its a sad transition when the author shifts his outlook from that of a raven to that of a broken record.