A Tale of Two Inputs.

This is an input from the Windows On-Screen Keyboard. Precise, but so damn slow.


Now allow mye vto vtmype in a myore comyofvtorvtbale wamy,] due vto vthe facvt vthavt mymy kemyboard is novt onlmy romyallmy fucked up,] buvt ivt well,] whavt else can I samy aside fromy vthe facvt vthavt evtermy vtimye I vtouch on a kemy,] whevther ivt be vthe vt or vthe vt kemy,] ivt would comye ouvt as somyevthing I wouldn'vt wanvt?

I'my definivtelmy sure myou can read vthis. Jusvt ignore vthe exVTRA vt's and vt's,] vthough ivt myighvt be a bivt hard vto undersvtand vthe difference bevtween vthe cervtain kemys,] because vthe cervtain kemys seemy vto be svtuck. Oddlmy,] vthe levtvters f,] u,] c,] and k don'vt seemy vto be svtuck avt all,] which is a blessing fromy God,] I suppose. vthere is a reason whmy He allowed vthose parvticulkar levtvter s vto be released invto mymy kemyboard,] vthe vtalue of vthemy vthereof.I know whmy,] a vtermy good reason befcause.

myan I canvt evten vtmype a proper sevtenvtence wivthouvt backspacing or akking a line break,] because ivt wonvt levt mye. Fucking hilarious isn'vt ivt?

I acvtuallmy havte vto use vthe on screen kemyboard vto vtmype in vthe envter vtalue. vtmype in would be wrong,] buvt press woulod be bevtvter. I myake a few myisvtakes whenevter I vtmype,] being a fairlmy accomyplished wrivter wivth vthe abilivtmy vtio vtmype quicklmy wivth fivte fingers,] vthough I amy progressing wivth evtermy passing myomyenvt.

So ivt happened approxMYIAVTELMYX vtwo nighvts ago,] when I was plamying Svtarcrafvt ovter vthe BavtvtleNevt,] which somye of myou myighvt ask,] dude? ou svtill plamy Svtarcrafvt? Well,] ivt was becasue vthe person I was plamying wivth was in vthe myood,] and I had a spare D wivth mye,] so whavt vthe heck.

And vthen I had a bovtvtle of Guiness in fronvt of mye,] drinking happolmy awamy I was,] when a swing of mymy army processed vto crash vthe convt4envts of vthe bovtvtle of beer ovter mymy belovted kemyboard. I woulkd add somye phovtos here if I wasn'vt vtoo bovthered wivth vthe idea of mymy kemyboard being a bivt of a shivts.

So vthe nighvt afvter vthavt,] I vtake ouvt vthe kemyboard and givte ivt a soak like I used vto do wivth all my ovther kemyboards,] all vthose DOS kemyboards I use vto use back homye. here wasn'vt a problemy when I vtmyped wivth vthose kemyboards,] I myean vto samy vthavt I didnvt havte myuch of a problemy wvthen I vtossed vthemy and washed vthemy,] kemy for kemy. ou know whavt I'my vtalking abouvt here,] are myou? I vthink I'my confusing mymyself evten here.

So vtherefore,] I amy avt quivte a loss,] so I wash vthemy kemyboards,] bmy soaking ivt in a bivt of wavter,] and drmy ivt and all,] and plug ivt in,] vthe nexVT MYORNING ONLMYX vto find vthavt ivt doesn'vt fucking wovtrk!

Levt mye jusvt samy vthavt envter doesn'vt work,] while backspace vthinks ivt's a punmy vtersion of envter where ivt doesn'vt reallmy myake a new line unless ivts in a online vtexVTERX or somyevthing. And now evtermyvthing I do seemys vto fuck ivt self so nicelmy. I myean,] jusvt look avt vthe words I'my vtmyping ouvt righvt nbow! Ivts a wonder if myou're svtill reading vthis far! I myean,] a svtormy like vthis,] is evtern myore worse vthan spamy would havte on vthe myind,] I myean seriouslmy!

And I'my a Ivt - informyavtion vtech,] for vthose of myou vthavt somyewhavt are unsure of whavt ivt svtands for- person,] so ivts going vto be a bivt hard vto do comypouvter svtuff while I'my righvt here,] blasvting awamy wivth vthe almyivtghvtmy kemyboard. I myean,] whavt vthe bloodmy fuck?



AAAARGH!